the time has come

I have reached the point
where I no longer savor
thoughts of expressing myself
with this indifferent keyboard
my words have lost their flavor

I struggled futilely for months
upgrade became a catastrophe
my blog became as my aging body
nothing works the same as before
my mountain top approaches

upon me are three anniversaries
the suddenness of my stroke
the passing of my lovely daughter
the beginning of this my blog
the end is fast coming into view

cracks

I’ve oft pondered the meaning of “fall through the cracks”
could this old idiom hold an actual truth or definition
I mean could one literally fall through said cracks
could one be cast through a crack to another realm
it’s not a question that can be answered by science
conjecture only offers a trifling investment of fact
not related to the fingering of knotted prayer cords
variations of reality leads one to practical applications
staring at a blank wall would never be of any benefit
possibilities abound crawling across a hardwood floor
at the risk of being misunderstood cracks are there
so taking a page from a story about a looking glass
placed my eye to a crack to see what lay beyond
what happens when you let someone fall
gamboling about like a puppet on a string

a wave of sadness almost overwhelmed my senses
before me there appeared a stupendous panorama
faces as far as I could see parading past before me
some vaguely familiar others completely strange
my friends begin to pass with pained expressions
I know so many that I had completely forgotten
no not forgotten but pushed wantonly aside
by one who no longer wanted them any more
I was beginning at last to understand
what it means to “fall through the cracks”

delusion

inflamed by need
I feel unacceptable
incensed by dread
wounded empty
confused by delusion
a hideous reflection
obsessed by mind
draining self seeking
completion outside self
I abhor my afflictions
overcome by them

for others affection
standing at a crossroads
which way should I go
for such affliction of both
from burning experiences
feeling pain and grief
my truth is something
I’m not able to accept

WORDS

should truth be known I like playing with words

an obscure meaning fills me with delight

push a subject from one sentence to another

hide meanings beneath senseless passages

punctuation serves no useful purpose

where vague innuendos support metaphors

lend credence where none can be expected

I feel great joy using twisted definitions

probably most readily explained with glee

circumspectly circumnavigating reality